The Advice given by My Father Which Rescued Us when I became a Brand-New Parent

"I think I was merely in survival mode for twelve months."

Former reality TV personality Ryan Libbey anticipated to cope with the demands of being a father.

However the truth quickly turned out to be "very different" to what he'd imagined.

Severe health complications around the birth resulted in his partner Louise hospitalised. All of a sudden he was forced into becoming her main carer in addition to caring for their newborn son Leo.

"I handled every night time, each diaper… every walk. The role of mother and father," Ryan explained.

Following eleven months he burnt out. That was when a talk with his parent, on a park bench, that led him to understand he required support.

The simple words "You are not in a good spot. You need support. What can I do to assist you?" paved the way for Ryan to express himself truthfully, ask for help and start recovering.

His story is commonplace, but infrequently talked about. While people is now more accustomed to talking about the pressure on moms and about postpartum depression, not enough is spoken about the difficulties fathers face.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to ask for help

Ryan believes his difficulties are part of a larger inability to open up between men, who still internalise harmful perceptions of manhood.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the rock that just gets smashed and doesn't fall with each wave."

"It is not a show of weakness to seek help. I failed to do that fast enough," he adds.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a expert focusing on mental health pre and post childbirth, explains men often don't want to accept they're finding things difficult.

They can believe they are "not the right person to be seeking help" - most notably ahead of a mum and baby - but she highlights their mental state is just as important to the household.

Ryan's conversation with his dad offered him the chance to request a respite - going on a short trip abroad, separate from the family home, to gain perspective.

He came to see he required a shift to pay attention to his and his partner's emotions in addition to the day-to-day duties of looking after a new baby.

When he was honest with Louise, he discovered he'd overlooked "what she needed" -physical connection and paying attention to her words.

'Parenting yourself

That epiphany has changed how Ryan perceives parenthood.

He's now writing Leo letters each week about his journey as a dad, which he hopes his son will read as he matures.

Ryan hopes these will enable his son to better grasp the language of emotional life and interpret his decisions as a father.

The idea of "reparenting" is something artist Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since having his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

During his childhood Stephen lacked consistent male parenting. Despite having an "amazing" bond with his dad, profound trauma meant his father found it hard to cope and was "coming and going" of his life, affecting their connection.

Stephen says repressing emotions resulted in him make "bad choices" when he was younger to change how he felt, seeking comfort in drink and drugs as escapism from the anguish.

"You turn to things that are harmful," he notes. "They can briefly alter how you are feeling, but they will eventually exacerbate the problem."

Strategies for Getting By as a New Dad

• Talk to someone - if you're feeling swamped, confide in a friend, your other half or a professional how you're feeling. This can to ease the pressure and make you feel less alone.
• Maintain your passions - continue with the activities that allowed you to feel like yourself before having a baby. This might be playing sport, socialising or a favourite hobby.
• Pay attention to the physical stuff - nutritious food, physical activity and when you can, getting some sleep, all are important in how your emotional health is doing.
• Spend time with other new dads - listening to their stories, the difficult parts, as well as the positive moments, can help to validate how you're feeling.
• Know that requesting help does not mean you've failed - taking care of your own well-being is the most effective way you can care for your loved ones.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen expectedly struggled to accept the loss, having not spoken to him for a long time.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's determined not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his boy and instead offer the stability and emotional support he lacked.

When his son starts to have a outburst, for example, they do "shaking the feelings out" together - processing the frustrations safely.

Each of Ryan and Stephen state they have become more balanced, healthier men because they faced their issues, changed how they talk, and learned to manage themselves for their children.

"I have improved at… sitting with things and managing things," says Stephen.

"I wrote that in a note to Leo last week," Ryan says. "I expressed, at times I feel like my purpose is to instruct and tell you on life, but the truth is, it's a two-way conversation. I'm learning an equal amount as you are in this journey."